Before I go on, I wanted to look at life before ‘86 and the “Four Pillars” who helped make me, well me. Overall, I had a pretty unremarkable and “normal” childhood. Of course everyone has their own idea of what “normal” is and that is fine. For some, what is “normal” is the standard “nuclear family” of two parents, a house, a picket fence. Someone else traveled all over because their family was in the military or living overseas. A few were born into wealth and never had to deal with the day-to-day things many of us had to do and deal with.
I was raised by my Mother in a big house in West Baltimore. From an early age I knew that she had my back, sides, and front. My sister was several years older than me, my first memories of her was graduating high school. I was Blessed to have my grandparents, cousins, some aunts & uncles (by genetics or family friends), and great friends. Never thought I was missing anything or “lacking” when I was little.
Ma was big on keeping me away from the streets. Seeing how it impacted her brothers and sisters and the changing climate, years from the “Crack Era” and the much-failed (on purpose) “War on Drugs,” I was the poster child of a “stoop kid.” It wasn’t in my Spirit to run outside, Ma made sure I was involved with various things. I attended a Catholic school, for all the positives and negatives, that might be one of the best things that happened to me. St. Ambrose Outreach Center was where I attended an after-school program and also my summer camp. That summer camp was where I had my first job, volunteering after I aged out and was too young to get a summer job.
One of the biggest ways I stayed in house was my interest in comic books, action figures, and cartoons. I may not be able to tell you what I had for dinner the first Monday in October of this year. I can tell you exactly when I got my first Transformer. Who my first GI Joe was, the day I got Optimus Prime on my birthday. In elementary school, I would read comics and my vocabulary grew to where they put me in the advanced reading class. Comic books had so many “big words” and my Mom refused to tell me what words meant. “Go get the dictionary” was her battlecry.
Unlike Ma, my father was not in the picture growing up. I knew I HAD a father, someone who helped make me, however I never met the man. It didn’t bother me early on, to be honest, my Mom was more than enough for me. She shouldn’t have been that, but life dealt that hand. We played it as well as we could.
I spent a lot of time at my Grandparents house, they lived not too far away from me on Pulaski and Edmonson. It was my second home, where I was able to get “the good cereal” as my Mom was NOT a fan of the sugary stuff. My Grandparent’s house was full of good times for me. When not playing with my action figures, hanging out with my cousins, and going to the corner store, I would sit silently and watch whatever was on TV.
Grandma had the Price is Right and her stories. Gilding Light, As the World Turns, etc were watched every weekday. I can’t remember much of the meals I ate, I do know I never left hungry and I loved the green beans. There was never a problem with me staying over and I made sure to not give my Grandparents a hard time. Grandma was gentle, very nice, and understanding. She would ask about my little “space men” and often remind me in my more self-centered moments to include my cousins in play. I felt protected and Grandma made sure I was comfortable whenever I was visiting; which was often. It wasn't until I was older that Grandma played a buffer between my adolescence and other elements that she or my Mother didn’t want me to be near. And for that, I’m so thankful.
My Grandfather was a giant of a man. Grandpa was the first man I saw as a “father figure” and the ideal of what a man, husband, and father should be. I believe he is where I have my “stern face” from. A man of few words, Grandpa did not tolerate any foolishness. True story, when he came home from work, a master carpenter, he would come home, wash his hands, and sit to watch the news. I knew to not have any toys in the path from the front door to the living room. The one time I did, he crushed my GI Joe without so much as a stutter step. I saw Chuckles’ broken body and knew I failed him.
Rounding out my “Four Pillars” is my Uncle Gary. Uncle Gary, THE Jedi Master. He would teach lessons on Mindfulness, Reflection, Universal Truth way before these words meant anything to me. Uncle Gary was a master of “reaching you where you are;” he would use all the things I was interested in to speak with me. Not “to me,” he’d speak “with me.” Two very different things. For example, Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back (my favorite movie) was ripe with moments Uncle Gary took and spoke on.