“After Qui-Gon’s death, Obi-Wan Kenobi was tasked to train Anakin Skywalker in the ways of the Force and to be a Jedi. Anakin’s valiant actions in Naboo convinced the Jedi Council that he should be trained, despite him being older than his Padawan peers. The newly ranked Jedi Knight will be responsible for the training of a young person who has shown he still (rightfully so) attachment to his mother and would have pressure to live up to “The Chosen One” moniker.”
“Qui-Gon runs into a young fella named Anakin Skywalker while on a remote sand pit of a planet called Tatooine. Instead his sole focus being the protection of Queen Padme Amidala,Qui-Gon gets sidetracked in not using the boy to get off the planet (in an EXTREMELY dangerous race that humans rarely survive), Qui-Gon is stuck on the idea that Anakin is the “Chosen One who will bring balance to the Force.” Even his Padawan Obi-Wan questions the wisdom of his actions and is brushed off.”
Read More“Friends. How many of us have them?” Whodini
When I heard the classic song from Whodini back in 1984, it was the jam to breakdance to and sometimes background music to when I played with my GI Joes and Star Wars figures. Having people we can call a friend is important to all of us. Proper interactions and connections with others are key to maintaining a healthy life. In my life I’ve gained, and “lost” people I call friends.
Most came from school and people who lived near me. Mutual interests brought me close to people and those connections lead to friendships. Some lasted for moments in time, others lasted for years into decades. Time and distance will pass, the majority of the time the bonds will remain. It may not be “best friends” level or the like, but we keep those bonds in person or via social media & the like.
While I have connected with people at work, I never was concerned about “making friends” at work. Since my first job at 13 or so, work was a place for employment and to get paid. I learned early that doing my job, being on time and committed to the tasks given, and being pleasant (being a good person, not kissing ass) would lead to me connecting and building bonds with others. It doesn’t mean that I was indifferent or did not build bridges with people, “friendships” wasn’t a factor in getting my employment and paychecks.
“I see us as family.” Management everywhere
Five words I hate to hear at any job. Usually after that sentence comes talk of doing “more with less,” “keeping focus on the big picture,” and various other buzzwords and phrases that mean how we are cogs in the machine.But don’t fret, the machine “loves us.” Having worked at places that had great comradery, my connection to my coworkers came from us building a rapport with each other. That rapport was built on working together, getting to know each other, and it all building organically. Not because someone in an office that never worked on the ground level/frontlines says so or in an attempt to pacify the staff and ease legitimate concerns that they don’t want to deal with. That person does not get to dictate how a group of people see each other. I’ve dealt with this scenario way too many times.
The problem with the “work is family scenario” is that the same people who speak about employees as family at times will also not hold certain people accountable. In many ways, it’s a lot like real families and how the “favorites” get special treatment. Work should not be like that, you come to work to do a job for compensation. When leaders want to bond with their employees, the worst thing that can happen is giving special privilege and leadway to certain people because of any bias they have for them. I have witnessed and been a part of situations where people were more family than employee and accountability was thrown out of the window.
“Like me or not, I didn’t come here to be liked. I came here to get paid…” New Jack
That is a big reason why I do not go to work with the mindset of “making friends.” Recently I told someone at my job this and it felt like they were puzzled. It wasn’t to be standoffish or to be rude. My intent was to let him know that at the end of the day, I am here to work and get my coin every two weeks. My bills have never been paid based on how good of a friend someone was with me. The grocery store does not provide additional produce for the amount of “people you are cool with” at any given time during your employment. I know I’ll naturally gravitate towards those who are like-minded. And it’s ok if it doesn’t happen.
Instead of worrying if people “like me,” I make it my goal to do what is asked of me the best way I can, learn as I go, hold myself accountable and to a standard that is reasonable and attainable. Being a good coworker/employee makes that happen. “Friends,” not being a friend has nothing to do with my work ethic. This has worked out for me since I was 13, I see no reason to stop now.
“I call my Brother ‘Sun’ because he shines like one…” Method Man
Having said all of this, that doesn’t mean you can’t have people you call friends (or Fam/family) at work. Over the years I’ve built great friendships with people, many of them I am still in touch with today. Some people are “reasons or seasons” as many wise people have said to me. We connected for a certain time and it was genuine & meaningful. Of course as you move you, you also may lose contact or not talk as often. That’s where social media comes into play.
Ultimately how & who you connect with people at your job depends on your comfort level and where you are in life. I have no problem having “levels” of how I socialize with folks. And I am ok with not being invited for drinks after work, I rarely drink and it’s not my vibe. One thing I do make sure is that the respect I give is equal to the respect given to me & my time/energy. Just know I am not here to be a “buddy.” I can possibly (and it’s NOT a goal) work towards that, I am however totally dedicated to being a great employee.
So it’s been awhile since I was last on here. I haven’t stopped writing, more on that later. I just got tired of thinking about 2020. It started as a fun and therapeutic exercise. I don’t regret what I’ve done so far, however as much as I felt it was needed, I won’t be doing it again. 2020 ended on a great note: new job, feeling 100 percent better mentally, emotionally, and physically, my family is doing great, and I was entering into what I feel is a new creative moment in my life. Everything that happened up to that, I rather not dwell on it. It’s heavy and takes away from the joy that is the now.
So’s that’s that.
So what HAVE I been doing? Besides work, doing the best for my family, reading a ton of great comics, and busting folk’s backsides in Call of Duty, I’ve been writing. “Why hasn’t it been on the site?” Well, ummmm…. That’s a great question. There isn’t any reason for it to not have been here. Last week I thought about this and decided to make a change.
I’ll be adding all the content, “Today in Black History Month in Comics..”, I’ve written on Facebook and bring them over to Kofijamal.com throughout the next few days. Originally I planned on doing a couple for fun. People enjoyed them and it’s fun to work on, I decided to keep going Monday through Friday and it’s been a blast to do. I love that people have gravitated towards them, plus it gives me a chance to talk about what I love; superheroes and comic books.
Thanks for stopping by, have a great day and an amazing week. I plan on doing the same.
“While I focused on my family, I (wrongly, and frankly I gave them too much credit) assumed the Government would be paying this much more attention and prepping for it. WRONG. I would watch the news and see our (the US, I don’t mean to insult any International readers) Government act like bad guys in a bad 80’s horror film. At best the Mayor from Jaws (and Jaws 2, how he stayed the Mayor after the first film… Yikes.) I felt it was important to keep us informed, but not in panic. Listening to friends who are in the medical field, know what they are talking about, and understanding how viruses work, I braced for the inevitable.”
Read MoreI sit here in the break room of my job, my 9 to 5 (today 3 to 11:30) that pays my bills, and instead of enjoying this Subway sub and getting reading for the evening, my mind is on 2020. 2020 AD was to have been the year a lot of things I’ve been working on sprung to life and I’d have the success I’d dreamed of. When people would know me for the talents and skills I have versus “the guy that draws really good that should have a comic book out.” The year I let go of old fears and embraced new change.
Supposed to have been…
Truthfully, I was still stinging from the passing of my Uncle Gary. I swore I was doing a good job in processing and understanding his death, I wasn’t. Secretly, I was scared of this future without him. Granted we didn’t talk on the phone often (a family thing as we all are great at keeping inside our turtle shells) and the majority of our communication was done via Facebook, I always felt good knowing my Uncle could be found and at any moment I could reach out to him. And that was now gone. With came the very stark reality that I’m looking at less time on this planet than more time.
It hurt, I still hurt, saying goodbye. Saying “until next time.” I always said proudly that since my Grandparent’s passing I am mentally ready for all my loved ones to leave. And that, Maury told me, was a big ass lie. I couldn’t finish my statement at my Uncle’s memorial without breaking down. I left Washington feeling baptized, renewed and refreshed, yet there was that part of me that missed that “goodbye.” And no videos, audio, or pictures of his last weeks could replace me sitting there with him.
So I entered 2020 with this bravado that only action heroes could muster up. I had stories written and in the process of being finished. I felt like this would be a great year. And for a short time it was. I believe it was. I honestly can’t remember anything about the start of the year save when my son had his first anxiety attack. I haven’t gone into details about it because I’m a private person and should someone crack slick about it, I may get extremely violent. However, what I say next, I hope that it may help another parent or guardian. As I never thought in a million years it could happen to us, yet it did, and I don’t want it happening to anyone else.
Noah was struggling in school. He often has highs and lows, his testing scores are always through the roof. Yet school was always a challenge at the time. His teachers said unlike last year, he really became isolated and withdrawn. Even from his closest friends, the very few he’d associate with. With his grades plummeting, we had a parent-teacher meeting. Not to punish, but to see how we could help him. I know my 8th grade was rocky, that time was rocky in general, so I felt I had an understanding of what I might be able to do to help my son.
The meeting started and ended extremely rocky, with Noah becoming more and more defensive and angry. After the meeting we all agreed to meet Noah downstairs while we talked to his teachers. When we went to meet him, my son was gone. I became frantic and worried for him. On a hunch I went home and found him trying to open the front door, which is a door we normally don’t use. We talked for a second and I noticed his eyes. Noah’s eyes were dark, completely dark. I didn’t recognize him at all. His body language was different and when I came close to hug him, he smelled different. Not in a stink or funk, he was another child and not the one I know and love.
My wife came in after and attempted to talk to Noah. He wasn’t listening and then told me, “You are always in my way.” I asked what he meant and he repeated it and explained, “You are in my way, I want to get a knife and kill myself.” I told him I wouldn’t let him and I loved him. Suddenly, Noah ran towards the cabinet I was standing in front of. In hindsight, I didn’t realize I was standing in front of what he wanted. And had he thought about it, he could have darted to above the refrigerator and get a knife much quicker and sadly might have gotten his wish.
I grabbed Noah and quickly understood this wasn’t my son and I need to go into “work mode.” At the time I was a Residential Resource Specialist at Sheppard Pratt Mental Health Hospital (or whatever they are calling themselves). At the Mann RTC School (or whatever they are calling themselves), my job was about deesculation and at times restraints. Right now, I attempted to calm the situation down, now it’s about stopping the situation from getting worse. I placed him in a hold, where I had one arm across his body and gripping him with both my arms, a Mandt Restraint. While she called the police, I held him. For 15 or so minutes. It felt like a whole day.
Soon we were in an ambulance and off to John Hopkins Hospital. By the time we got to the Children’s Psychiatric Room, Noah had calmed down and started to sound and look like himself. We sat and answered a variety of questions and I repeatedly thanked The Creator that I had “good insurance” from my job. Late in the night, Noah was admitted, a huge weight was lifted off my chest. I hated leaving my son there, however I knew it was the right thing. As we started our way out of the hospital, I drifted off to thoughts of my Mom. When she made the difficult choice to have me admitted to John Hopkins when I was 14 (or 15). What a Father I was, passing down my depression, anxiety, and anger. And this was only January.
The next few weeks were tough on us all. Noah was away from us and at times he liked the structure of the program, however he didn’t like talking about his feelings and missed being home with us. At work, I would bounce between my thoughts of him and doing my job. Feeling terrible when I didn’t want to visit him because I was tired from work. Days when I’d literally be physically worn down, I had to make a choice of going home and resting or seeing Noah and being exhausting the next day. After getting the help he needed, we decided it was a good time to come home. We rejoiced and were happy in the moment. Noah wanted to go to school, yet had hesitation over it. We assured him things would be fine.
I was at work and had just made a joke with one of my favorite residents (we aren’t supposed to have “favorites,” but yeah I had favorites) when I received a phone call from Catherine. She was frantic, telling me the school called the police on Noah and if we didn’t come down, he would be taken away. My supervisor drove me (I think, my mind was a blur) to his school and I went in expecting the worst. I went to one of his classrooms and it looked like an atomic bomb hit. As I stepped into the door I caught one of the teacher assistants, one who assured me that they would look out for Noah and had experience with youth with high anxiety, talk about Noah as if he was some monster. I would have addressed it properly, but I wouldn’t be able to address it in a manner that would benefit Noah or myself at the time.
I told me the short version, some child messed with Noah and he blew up. When I finally found Noah, he was talking to two police officers. I was then told that the child was messing with Noah all day, finally telling him to “kill himself.” Noah then decided to do that and destroy the room. Again we went to JHU, this time he wasn’t Noah but someone else. Constantly attempting to provoke me, the police officers, other drivers… Again we signed the paperwork and again I thanked The Creator for my insurance. This time I was worn down, I felt defeated in a way I never knew in my life. Again he started the process of inpatient treatment, followed up with outpatient services. I could care less about school, opinions of people who don’t matter, or the world; I just wanted my son back.
Fast forward to 2021: Noah is doing much better. He left the hospital just before Covid swept through the country. Noah has an AMAZING therapist, Mr. Adrian is a Black man he sees he’d like to be like in tone and temperament. He responds well to his sessions; he's growing more confident in himself as the days and months go on. Now in the 9th grade, he’s able to express himself in a way that doesn’t cause conflicts at home or in school. The “Year of Covid” has taken away his freshmen year, however I am glad the events of 2020 didn’t take away my son. Yes he has “teenage moments” and at times the fear of failure gets the better of him, however I wouldn’t trade him for anything. I see the growth within Noah and believe his bump in the road will lead to smooth driving for years to come.
Next: The Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter of Covid….
I begin this year exploring the year that was in 2020. Between the lows and highs, it was a year of growth. In between my blogging of things on my mind, I will examine this year and the ways in impacted me, the ones I care for, and us as a whole.
With each week it's getting harder for me to keep any excitement for either the #PS5 or #XboxSeriesX with no launch date or price. Especially when I have a Xbox One X & PS4 Pro that delivers amazing games, and will continue to do so into the Fall.
Read More“2020 has been full of lows with few highs. I’m healthy, my family is healthy, and for that I’m happy. I do have it better than a lot of people and again I’m blessed and thankful.”
Read MoreI could give you a ton of reasons and excuses on why I haven’t given the website, blog, art, and myself the time and attention it truly desires. And I can use a lot of fancy language or poetic double talk that I’m sure we have all heard before and used to describe the lack of content. However nothing can replace the simple truth of the matter, I have failed myself and those who believed in me.
So now it’s a new day. There are no more, “but wait” or “went the time is right.” The time is now and now I need to move & get rocking. Over the next several days I will be transferring my work I’ve posted elsewhere to here. While I have missed many events worth talking about, I plan on going back and revisiting them and also make 10 Hit 16-Bit Combo a regularly updated blog wrote your time.
So yeah, new content on the way, updated design, and a commitment to bring the absolute best I can. Peace and stay radiant.
Biggie barely moved, he stood in one spot (he may have moved once or twice), he stood there and ripped the mic. Every line was crisp and clear, there was none of the “stage voice” you get from some performers. The crowd responded by chanting every line and chorus. The crowd moved like the ocean. The high tempo songs the crowd was more amp, “Big Poppa” had the crowd moving a slow rhythm. The dope boys bobbed their heads, the weed heads vibed off the jams, every woman moved and gyrated the pace to whatever song Biggie was on.
Read More"One thing I’ve heard more than a few times is how the film felt very dire and hopeless. This is something I thought the folks at Lucasfilm did very well. They treated the subject of war with some weight and also remembered this was a Space Opera."
Read MoreMy son and I went into the theater expecting a good movie. A great movie would have been nice. What I got was a experience, a flashback to good times with old friends, something I wanted since 1983, and more fan service than you can fit in a tauntaun.
Read MoreHello, I hope all is well. I would like to welcome you to my blog, "10 Hit 16-Bit Combo," my home for all my geeky viewpoints and other random supernova of wordplay. The title comes from my love of video games and the 16-Bit Era. Even though I have a lot of love for the Atari 2600 (my first console) and the NES (what made me a fan), the 16-Bit Era with the Sega Genesis and Super Nintendo was the Voltron lion that formed the head when it comes to my love of the hobby. "10 Hit" is my nod to the Street Fighter Franchise. I have spent many quarters on various Street Fighter games and various Capcom (and other) fighting games. Other people have spent MUCH MORE attempting to beat "KJS." I wasn't EVO level, but I was nice. Back when I had no grey hairs...
At 10 Hit 16-Bit Combo or 10H16BC, I will be covering my views on superheroes, comic books, sci-fi/science fiction, video games, and much more. The world can be a grim place, 2016 has been a tough time for many of us. While I'm not some ostrich with his head in the sand, I would love to provide a space where a little light and warmth can shine. But don't let all the warm and fuzzy talk fool you, I have no problem tackling any topic. This includes any and all issues that are in the news and such. Overall I want this to be a place where I can speak my voice and is also welcoming to EVERYONE. Even if we disagree, we can talk and share. This is still "my house," so don't think you will Rick James my couch...
I won't have long winded posts each time. There will be scheduled posts, however when the mood hits I'll drop something. Upcoming topics will include:
Comics & video games I'm enjoying
Star Wars: Rogue One
My year end review
Until next time, have a great day and stay radiant.
