This is the second in my series of posting on the year that was. While my year did start off with issues, I want to assure everything that 2020 was not as a whole a bust or terrible. However the facts are that we it was a most unusual and challenging year. And to not address it, and how we found victories in it, would be a disservice to us.
The Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter of Covid….
As I begin this entry, there have been 92,879,513 confirmed cases of the coronavirus COVID-19 in the world. And 1,989,118 deaths in that time. In the United States of America, 23.1M cases and 385K deaths have been reported. In the state I live in Maryland, 315K cases and 6,404 deaths. Looking at Baltimore City, 34,699 cases and 752 deaths. As of January 14th, 2021.
I gave these numbers to hammer home how serious Covid has been in 2020. This one thing impacted and changed everything in 2020, EVERY SINGLE THING. Doesn't matter who you are, your social status, occupation, name the demographic, we all have felt the impact of this. Lives were changed, uprooted, and altered forever. Even if you hadn’t caught the virus, everyone was touched. I was no different than anyone else.
My earliest memories of Covid was reading about what was happening in China. And like many Americans, my first thought was this is another situation that will come and go. I wish them the best, Positive Energies, and all that good stuff. However more disturbing news came out. I gave it more attention, but at the time my son was my only real focus. Soon we heard of it spreading and when the numbers of deaths started to come out, I felt this was going to be much bigger than what I had thought.
While I focused on my family, I (wrongly, and frankly I gave them too much credit) assumed the Government would be paying this much more attention and prepping for it. WRONG. I would watch the news and see our (the US, I don’t mean to insult any International readers) Government act like bad guys in a bad 80’s horror film. At best the Mayor from Jaws (and Jaws 2, how he stayed the Mayor after the first film… Yikes.) I felt it was important to keep us informed, but not in panic. Listening to friends who are in the medical field, know what they are talking about, and understanding how viruses work, I braced for the inevitable.
We had just picked Noah up from the hospital. Our Lyft driver was a very nice woman and I was struck with how powerful the smell of Lysol was. She apologized for the smell and me, my wife, and son all thanked her for caring about us enough to spray. We laughed and joked the whole time back, talking about Covid in a way to not alarm Noah, but it didn’t matter because he understood everything we said and had some smart insight himself. As we were being dropped off, she apologized again. This time for spraying as soon as we got out, which we laughed at and said, “No please do!” After that moment, Covid because as much a part of our household as the TV, Xbox, and uneven creaky floors.
Like the rest of the US, my job was slow on the uptake in dealing with and handling Covid. I can’t get into specifics or great detail because of HIPAA Laws (and out of respect for people I’ve worked with & for), but I will say that at times it felt like those who were “Essential Employees” were given the shortest in of the stick. A nurse left Sheppard Pratt and shamed them on Facebook before we were allowed to wear masks. The school I worked at shut down, now all the students were on the units 24/7. That posed several sets of problems as far as teaching and general order of things. Staff found themselves at odds with leadership and at times each other. AND Covid flexed in our program.
It’s a simple science: The youth are in a locked door facility. The only access to “outside” is either if they have sign outs back home, when the program goes on outings, and when they come in contact with us. This isn’t to place blame on the staff, many people did their absolute best to be safe and careful at a time many of us had little real information about Covid. However when a unit had cases, I felt that the people in charge would form a plan of action that would be swift and secure. Not the case.
I would go into work and deal with youth who wouldn't conform to the rules of safety, even though it was to protect them. Masks would not be worn, youth would still spit on us, at a time we didn’t have enough PPE to go around. I recall before it came to the unit I worked on, there was a staff call for a physical altercation. We came down to the unit, however we didn’t have any PPE to wear. Because of that, more than a few times we wouldn’t be able to assist our coworkers.
Then with the rise of Covid in the program, there were staff who either refused to follow the CDC guidelines on being safe (social distancing, wearing a mask when in public, etc.) or, when they found they were working on a unit that had Covid cases, would walk out or refuse to work. On one hand I understood the frustrations of my coworkers and friends. We were learning more about Covid daily and there were so many unanswered questions. On the other hand, I felt that being a “team player” only went so far. There were times I was left to deal with situations that needed more than just me. I felt horrible for my coworkers who would get sick and everyone knew it was because of this job. Rarely did I feel that it was a clear cut answer on if someone's actions were good or bad. It was a spectrum of issues, reasons, and causes. I just figured I’d do the best I can before I could do no more.
Outside of work, everything stopped for me. There was no hanging out with friends. I had planned on having one of my best friends come over for every AEW Wrestling PPV. That stopped after one PPV (the invite is still open once everything chills out). I would tell people that they should “forget the summer, forget the fall,” just forget whatever holiday they were looking forward to. Everything would be closed. I was right. One of my FAVORITE things are the Comic Cons I and the crew at Art Way Alliance would attend. It was a way to see friends who lived far away, and also I was able to teach, and make money from my art. With Covid, that was gone. There was no sadness at first. By no means my happiness is more important than anyone’s health. However, at times I’d wish I could look up and see a friend making a sale, or find us laughing at some random bit of pop culture.
At home we developed a tight ship. Shoes were left outside of the apartment. Whenever I came home from work, I would strip off everything to my boxers and shirt, (yes some folks got a show), and place my clothes in a plastic bag. Then when full it would be washed separately. When we bought anything into the house from the outside, it had to be wiped down. EVERYTHING. And soon we’d just empty boxes of things we didn’t need to save time and valuable cleaning supplies. Home was literally the one place I felt “safe.” Given what we all were dealing with, that was the major house rule we had. Home would not be a place of stress. I like to think we succeeded.
When friends and coworkers would talk about doing things in the future, I’d often reply, “You can cancel that.” People expected things to “slow down” or stop by a certain date or time. Summer vacations, the start of school for children and college, Halloween, Thanksgiving… “Cancel it, nothing is happening.” I wasn’t being a pessimist, I was being a realist. When you have a Government totally half-assing this situation, people ignoring the CDC's advice on how to stay safe, many more believing what they see on YouTube, and the lack of items and PPE for companies and citizens to be safe, there was no way this would be over in time for your favorite event. And when you are doing the right things, I found it hella hilarious when you can’t get to do what you want.
But people be people, and they stay peopling.
Fast forward to 2021: Eventually the stress of Covid at work led to me leaving my position at my job. In a few ways, Covid actually helped me in it’s sick way. It’s far to say that without it, I might still be at my old job and have not moved on to where I am now. We are still treating Covid seriously, when work has a potential outbreak, the clothes will still be removed. Things are wiped down when they are brought home. And I have made a point to not be around anyone unless I have to. This is the hardest thing for me. I’d often get invited to go to concerts or parties, get togethers, and the like. I’d much rather be at home. “I’ll go to the next one. Tonight I’m tired, but later on I will…” Now I can’t, and I miss my friends and Fam.
We are still dealing with Covid and the numbers have risen since I started this. Late December I received my first Covid vaccine shot. Unlike what some may have been told on YouTube, I have not gained any superpowers, I did not grow wings, and I haven’t gotten sick beside my arm being sore like with the flu shot. I am hopeful that 2021 will be a huge pivot with this pandemic. I do not want “normal” back, as “normal” did not prepare us properly for our current state. I do want for us to be free...to live our lives and be with our loved ones without fear.
Be safe everyone.
Next: I love my job, but it doesn’t love me...